Invictus Blog

Open the Flood Gates
Written by Shane Farmer

When was the last time you showed someone you cared about them? I mean really made yourself vulnerable so they saw your genuine care? I’m not talking about romantic connection; it could be, of course, but this can also apply to friends, parents, or even a stranger who does something nice for you. It’s hard to look someone in the eyes and let them know what we’re actually feeling. All too often we use canned responses and comments that we say in passing because it’s easier and more comfortable than being direct with someone. I feel exceptionally guilty of this in the gym. During the day I connect with lots of people and sometimes I feel like I’m not being my genuine self. In these moments I try to catch myself and correct course.

So what does it mean to be vulnerable? It means taking stock of how you actually feel about someone and letting them know. Sometimes this can be tough to put into words because we aren’t used to describing a feeling. We feel it but it’s like trying to explain a color. Keep in mind, this doesn’t always have to be positive. Sometimes it means a sincere apology, it could be explaining frustration, or the opposite of letting them in on your deep joy. What’s important though is that these deeper connections, while it may not be a regular thing, keep us fresh at heart. By sharing deeper connection with someone it’s like a super charge to do it again. It’s pretty incredible to connect with someone on a greater level than our usual “How are you?” “I’m doing well, thank you for asking.”

Take a few minutes to think about someone you haven’t connected with recently or ever and think through something you could share with them. Have fun with it, see how much eye contact you can maintain while saying it, wait in silence once your done saying it and truly listen to their response. This should be a social experiment for you, enjoy!