Invictus Blog

Kicking Fear in the Face
Written by Justin Nahama

There is no doubt that the top athletes – in CrossFit and beyond – are equally strong in body and mind. Mental toughness is an important topic that has been addressed from several different angles on the Invictus Blog. [Read this, this and this]. If, however, we dig a few layers deeper into the notion of “mental toughness,” I believe many of the sticking points preventing us from personal, professional, and athletic growth are rooted in fear.

While rarely acknowledged, our daily lives are replete with fear. We are afraid of failing at home, work, in relationships, or in the gym. Most of us just do not like to admit it. After sharing some personal challenges with a few close friends, and them graciously reciprocating, a consistent theme emerged despite our wildly differing life experiences: the things we were afraid of were self-imposed anchors preventing us from reaching our full potential. Understanding the role of fear in our lives, acknowledging it, and using fear as a source of strength is an incredibly helpful tool to facilitate growth in and out of the gym.

Fear is a topic people don’t like to talk about at parties, and understandably so. Fear is a powerful and potentially treacherous concept that is more prevalent than we care to admit. Two examples come to mind, both related to marketing and sales. First, if you are considering having children, start saving money now. The marketing folks for all infant and toddler products are geniuses. Not because they care about your kids, but because they understand fear. The magic words, “well this one is safer,” or “the one you were thinking of had some safety issues,” is a game changer. You walk into Babies-R-Us looking for the Honda Accord of bouncies, talk to the (deceivingly smart) seventeen year-old sales person, momentarily black out, and leave with the Bentley bouncy. Similarly, growing up I had friends who convinced their parents to buy them really nice cars. Honest attempts like, “this car is sexy as hell, I need it” were quickly shot down. Revising their strategy, the deal was quickly sealed with, “Mom and Dad, this car has really high safety ratings.” Why? Because, we are always willing to pay a few dollars more if we believe we are protecting what we love. One point for fear.

The second example comes from a friend and teammate who shall remain anonymous (but his name rhymes with Shmane Barmer). In his past life before becoming a studly CrossFit coach, my anonymous rowing-obsessed amigo shared a story about life-insurance sales. He noted that in all sales pitches, the sales team was specifically trained to say, “God forbid [insert terrible event] …” at least a dozen times in each pitch. Why? You get it. Fear wins again.

How does all of this relate to Invictus? I am a firm believer that how we respond to physical stressors, i.e., CJ’s conditioning “pieces”, is a solid indicator of how we respond to pressures and challenges in other components of our life. In the gym, once you hear “3,2,1…Go,” there is nowhere to hide. Thankfully, improvement is easier to quantify in the gym than at work, home, or in personal relationships. Maybe I’m alone on this, but there have been times when I’ve struggled during a workout and my mind launched into negative self-talk about how much I suck at other things in life. By no coincidence, many training ruts or plateaus corresponded to challenging personal issues outside of the gym. If we use our weekly Invictus training opportunities to strengthen our ability to acknowledge fear – in whatever form it takes – we will be better equipped to address it outside of the gym.

When defining what scares us, we have to look deeper than the surface. My wife would tell you I am afraid of learning how to properly fold laundry, but again, we’re talking a deeper level here. To fully be empowered by your fear, you have to dig deep and be willing to face what scares you in all aspects of your life. In fact, the first uncomfortable step in taking control of your fear is a daunting task that requires a rare blend of courage, vulnerability, self-awareness, and honesty. As one of my new favorite author’s, Pema Chodron, simply but powerfully states, “Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.” And more often than not, the truth sucks. But, it is incredibly empowering to acknowledge that the truth is usually not as good or bad as it first appears. Maybe we all won’t reach the top of the professional ladder, cure cancer, or win the CrossFit Games. What we can do, however, is empower ourselves to constantly challenge our perceived limits and realize our true, endless potential.

Ironically, we were better equipped as kids to properly acknowledge, confront, and conquer fear. At an early age, most of us were taught to face our fears. Whether it was jumping in the deep end of the pool for the first time or standing up to a bully, we had the tools to empower our young-selves through fear. But as we got older, something changed. And those fundamental life lessons were replaced with the dangerous, quick temptation of distraction. Another brilliant quote from Pema Chodron notes that as adults, “No one ever tells us to stop running away from fear…the advice we usually get is to sweeten it up, smooth it over, take a pill, or distract ourselves, but by all means make it go away.” So, what can we learn from the more youthful version of ourselves? In Part II of this post, Heidi will discuss strategies for acknowledging fear and using it as an ally rather than enemy.

In closing, fear is like quicksand on our journey to grow stronger in all facets of our life. The more we fight fear or mask it through distraction, the deeper we sink. For me, maybe I will not always be able to protect my kids from everything life throws their way. Maybe I won’t ever run a 400 faster than Nuno or pull 1000 meters faster than my anonymous aforementioned friend with great hair. But acknowledging my fears has empowered me to continue to grow as a dad, husband, attorney, and athlete. The truth remains: we are the master of our fate, we are the captain of our soul.